"They always say, 'College is a time to reinvent yourself.' So I decided I was going to be more social and outgoing. I brought my Batman hat and wore it all the time--yaknow, just so people would recognize me. And people started calling me Batman! So I took it on as my identity. It seems to have worked, huh? I've collected enough Batman shirts that I can wear one every morning to work."

(If you haven't ordered an omelet from him at North yet, do so. He'll brighten your morning--and maybe save Gotham City while he's at it.)